Raising Boys   879 members

By: KelleyMo 6 months ago

You don't give a drug addict a little heroine to "satisfy his cravings/needs". Porn is an addiction that ruins lives. Sex is a beautiful thing shared at the appropriate time in life. Just because his curiosity is consistent with other males his age, doesn't mean you should feed that curiosity with more of a negative thing. You will open up Pandora's Box & cause more damage than his sneeking curiosity.

Parental controls/software can block inappropriate content, but parents are still the ultimate guide in helping their kids through lifes challenges. He may not want to talk to his parents about it, but his Dad could level simply with him & explain the damage that porn can do.

Guilt is a sign that we are making the wrong choices. But guilt doesn't do any good if we don't change our course!

By: kattAhockeyMom 6 months ago

When I was younger ~ I had an older brother (6 years older) in high school that had playboy under his bed. I remember I wanted to look at these magazines. I am not gay but I think BOTH girls and boys have a natural curiousity to want to see these things and now with todays computers and internet ... they can see very bad things... I think getting a playboy and leaving it out (wink wink accidently) is not a really bad thing. I don't think I would get a subscription with his name and just for him. Could your husband hand him the magazine and possibly talk about it?

just my 2 cents :)

By: BizEboyZ 6 months ago

My son is younger (12) and the situation is a bit different; I checked my Google history one day when I had been gone and found out that he was visiting sites that I did not approve of--although they were not porn.  I tried to look into managing web surfing, etc. and while the control panel does give you sites to approve/disapprove, I found that it also blocked most of MY sites if I enabled the  password-protected sites that were not rated (which I found that most are not rated).  In a nut shell, I found it easiest to re-do my computer user accounts.  I am now the only user and have a password; when I am not home, I simply log off and he cannot use the computer.  (ours is also in the family room).   Of course, curiousity is normal at this age and I understand him wanting to look at pretty girls in swimsuits, whatever.  But, I am trying to put off the porn thing a bit longer.  The reality is, the internet is full of a lot of crap that just makes our kids grow up faster than they already are--which can be TOO soon for me sometimes!  YIKES...

By: Barb2463 6 months ago

When was son was 13 I discovered porn sites had been googled on our computer.  He was sitting with me when I discovered it as we were researching something for school.  I didn't freak out but did demand an explanation.  Of course I was met with the usual kid answer "I dunno, wasn't me".  I didn't argue but told him that I hated when the "mystery neighbor" came in and used our computer to search for porn.  I am a single mom (his dad lives in another state but even if he didn't this would be still up to me) so we sat down and had a very frank discussion about curiosity etc.  Talked about the way we used to encyclopedia and national geographic (with the naked pygmies) to satisfy ours.  Mostly I stressed about how porn degrades women and gives men and women a unrealistic viewpoint.  computer enhancements etc.  I took away his independent computer priviledges and he could only access through my account thus allowing me to monitor his usage.  I guess it must've worked as he is 16 and I've never had any more problems.  He still doesn't have independent computer access and logs on through my account.  He knows I watch where he goes on line.  We have talked about it since and he admitted it was him and I told him I knew and we talked about why it was a bad idea and he agrees now.  We have a very open relationship and I talk to him about sex on a regular basis.  He  knows why I want him to wait and with my job I have plenty of examples of why he should wait!  I get some eye rolling but that's ok, means I know he's listening.  A magazine is not the way to go.  He needs to be able to talk to you and his dad about all kinds of issues.  This is just the first of many sensitive topics that will come up as he gets older and you want him to know that no subject is taboo with you.  Often times boys will prefer to talk to their moms about stuff, remember that as well!  Good luck! 

By: momomto3 6 months ago

I wouldn't give my son a magazine like that, maybe pick up a book at a bookstore that is more realistic and geared towards curious minors.  A magazine such as playboy,  maxim or penthouse may give him unrealistic expectations as to what is involved and expected in a normal healthy sexual relationship.  As for the internet, a few ladies gave some great ideas on software that would limit his ability to search for it.  In the end it is all up to you as his parent but I don't believe a smut mag is the way to go.